30951 – The Lantern’s First Spark

There is always a beginning…a point that is recognized as the start…but the beginning is not always the beginning…it does not always cleanly mark the start…sometimes the beginning is simply the first time that a spark ignites in the darkness, the first time surroundings become illuminated…that understanding gains a new sense…a fresh perspective.

Even if the beginning is simply the middle of the journey…not the start but a random point marked and considered the start…a point that may seem random but contain all the marks of intelligence and meaning and purpose…a point random only by the observer…the observer of both internal and external worlds…this beginning is meaningful…impactful…a necessity because without defining a beginning an end cannot be obtained…and even though existence occurs before the beginning and after the ending without a beginning and an ending existence would not be defined…would not occur…would fold into the shadows of meaning…and be lost in the depths of time.

The spark has been ignited…a process that took decades of wandering in the darkness before gaining perspective…gaining the capacity to finally ignite what was always there…I can now see…through the squinting of eyes on my dimly lit surroundings…I can now begin to understand…begin the lifelong journey I spent decades fumbling around to find the beginning…but it wasn’t successful until now because the beginning is not the beginning…the start is not the start…it simply is the first noticeable point where understanding can begin because the surroundings are finally illuminated…albeit dimly but an intense burning star has to start from something…or it would never be illuminating the void…burning across time.

I am the Weaver…the external personification of myself…finally gaining sight into the tapestry of my inner world…the tapestry my loom has been spinning for decades…yet i only now just begin to understand…begin to see…begin to mold…shape and guide the loom with my hands…creating purpose to the tapestry…sculpting structure from chaos…forming meaning from disorder and step forward to start the journey…to explore this inner sanctum that existed unknowingly before the beginning.

I know nothing except this seemed to be the inevitable path…the only question seemed to be when…when would I understand how to spark light…how to create a flame to shine in the darkness and begin to visualize…to understand…and if…if the darkness would cause me to succumb before I discovered the way forward in this journey…now instead of wandering along to find the way…aimlessly journeying down hidden paths…fumbling in darkness…I can see…analyze…understand…shift through the threads that built the tapestry…the threads of my inner world…i can stare into the depths of the tapestry…look up to heights hidden by the distance…hidden by the horizon…and I can describe…translate…remember…strive towards the goal of awakening…a goal that will never be achieved but should always be aimed for…a goal I will now begin…starting in the middle of my journey…because the middle is the beginning and I existed long before starting…before stepping forward…long before finding illumination…and I will exist long after ending…long after the woven tapestry remains unfinished…the loom no longer spinning…no longer creating…the tapestry remaining finished but unfinished…complete yet incomplete…seen yet unseen…existing only to be discovered…